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| Posted By : Bookworm - 7/15/2007 2:12 PM |
The full title of this monster piece is, "The Russian Shores of the Black Sea in the Autum of 1852 With a Voyage Down the Volga And a Tour Through the Country of the Don Cossacks," written by Laurence Oliphant.
I have scanned the first page of this book so you can read what this book is really like, and I don't have to spend the rest of the day ranting and venting (Click on Attachment Manager below). The second sentence of the book contains 14 lines of type-123 words in all. (Yes, I read the whole thing--297 pages.)
This is a very old travel book, as you can tell from the title. And it is very confusing--we begin at St. Petersburg and many times after that I had to go back and see if we are going to Moscow, or not, or are we still in St. Pete's. And frustrating to read. The Russians had a device mounted on a boat. A horse walks on the device, and the boat rows itself upstream. How does this wonder work? Don't ask me. I read Oliphant's description a dozen times, and I have no idea what it looks like, or how it works.
I did some webcrawling for both the book and the author--and this book has never been out of print since it's first printing in 1852. Many people have said this is a good book. Don't believe them.
Read at your own risk. This is not a book, it is a learning experience. Getting stabbed in the eye with a sharp stick is a learning experience too.
Enjoy.
Lee |
| Posted By : Camille Alexa - 7/15/2007 2:25 PM |
Bookworm said...
[...] Read at your own risk. This is not a book, it is a learning experience. Getting stabbed in the eye with a sharp stick is a learning experience too.
Enjoy.
Lee
You are cracking me up!
I actually found this snippet really interesting, though my attention-deficit mind and I shudder at the thought of reading 297 pages of it (or even 12). I admire your perseverance. |
| Posted By : Camille Alexa - 7/15/2007 2:30 PM | Bookworm,
It occurs to me you may enjoy author Justine Larbalestier's game, "novels i despise":
|
| Posted By : crystalwizard - 7/15/2007 8:09 PM | well...the very first words of the first page are:
Our first ordeal
Maybe that's a hint? I have to ask why you had the displeasure of forcing yourself to read the entire thing?
Never meddle in the affairs of a wizard unless you are soggy and hard to light!
Visit my art gallery on art wanted at
http://artwanted.com/crystalwizard
All my books in print:
http://sojourn.omnitech.net |
| Posted By : Silverdrake - 7/15/2007 10:58 PM | crystalwizard said...
well...the very first words of the first page are:
Our first ordeal
Maybe that's a hint?
That's Russia and Russian. To a tee.
Cogito cogito, ergo cogito sum. |
| Posted By : MichaelEhart - 7/15/2007 11:44 PM | The worst book I ever read was written by my wife's uncle, about his experiences in the Negro League in the late fifties. The subject and the anecdotes were fascinating, but his editor had severely fallen down on the job. There were 10-15 typos per page, no semblance of ordered narrative, dreadful errors in grammar, syntax, spelling and usage.
Oh, but the stories! Catching for Satchel Paige, seeing Jackie Robinson play his first season in the Majors, stories of travelling in the country on the team bus. I devoured every word, with painfully gritted teeth. :)
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden", Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" , Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review. September 2007
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, July 2007
"The Death of Number 23" Dark Krypt, Fall 2006
"Servant of the Manthycore" Sword Review, July 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" Sword Review, June 2007
"Dancing with the Elder Gods"-- Thirteen Magazine, October 2005
"It's a Living" Byzarium---November 2005
"An Exorcism Straight, Hold the Elvis" The Sword Review, October 2005
Host, 2005 Nebula Awards Live Chat, sff.net
http://mehart.blogspot.com/ |
| Posted By : MichaelEhart - 7/15/2007 11:49 PM | By the way, Laurence Oliphant was John Hanning Speke's friend, perhaps his lover. He was a great deal of the cause of the rift between Burton and Speke, fanning the flames of Speke's jealosy and fear of inferiority. He was a very well regarded travel writer at the time, and the fanning have been also caused by some jealousy on Oliphant's part, in a literary sense, as Burton was of course known already as one of the Empire's greatest travel writers. Oliphant went down the Volga; Burton went searching for the Nile, took a pilgimage to Mecca, explored the Indus Valley, and many others.
Though Oliphant ran through several fortunes, at least one by marriage even though he was gay, he died a pauper, having been fleeced thoroughly by a spiritualist guru.
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden", Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" , Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review. September 2007
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, July 2007
"The Death of Number 23" Dark Krypt, Fall 2006
"Servant of the Manthycore" Sword Review, July 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" Sword Review, June 2007
"Dancing with the Elder Gods"-- Thirteen Magazine, October 2005
"It's a Living" Byzarium---November 2005
"An Exorcism Straight, Hold the Elvis" The Sword Review, October 2005
Host, 2005 Nebula Awards Live Chat, sff.net
http://mehart.blogspot.com/ |
| Posted By : BarbT - 7/16/2007 1:02 AM |
Bookworm said...
The Russians had a device mounted on a boat. A horse walks on the device, and the boat rows itself upstream. How does this wonder work? Don't ask me. I read Oliphant's description a dozen times, and I have no idea what it looks like, or how it works.
I'm a horse enthusiast, so I had to look into this! I couldn't find anything on Russian riverboats, but I found a diagram of an American ferry that was powered by horses on a treadmill.
Apparently this is ancient technology; might be useful in a story someday. ;)
-Barb |
| Posted By : Bookworm - 7/16/2007 3:49 PM | Since some people are asking: I got to about page ten and I was ready to scream! This is not a book...It's a....It's a....
Like climbing Everest! You just have to grit your teeth and not let the mountain beat you! |
| Posted By : charibides - 7/24/2007 3:48 PM | | ATLAS SHRUGGED, all one million pages of it! You either love it or you hate it. I tend to lean proletariat. Objectivism...infuriating. But Rand was dissapointing and the story did not move at a quick enough pace to facilitate the read. |
| Posted By : MichaelEhart - 7/24/2007 8:20 PM | If we ever meet at a con, remind me to tell you about my (in a previous life) facilitating a world conference of Objectivists for the Ayn Rand Institute. Buy me several drinks, first.
Read me in 2007!
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" The Sword Review, June 2007
"Servant of the Manthycore" The Sword Review, July 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, Summer 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review, September 2007
"Night of Shadows, Night of Knives" Magic and Mechanica, Fall 2007
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden" Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
|
| Posted By : Pamela J. Dodd - 7/25/2007 4:18 AM | The worst book I read was Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce, which was the novel required in my freshman English class in undergraduate school. At least I remember it as the worst. I also remember it as a fantastic cure for insomnia. Since I have not revisited it in the thirty or so years that have passed, it might not be as bad as I remember.
However, recently, I read one of E. E."Doc" Smith's classic space operas, which have been rereleased as eBooks, just as a research item. I chose Triplanetary, and that ranks as one of my top ten worst books that I actually read in its entirety, and the only SF book which makes the list. Here's a line from his climactic space battle scene: "Crimson opacity struggled sullenly against violet curtain of annihilation." About a third of it was written in passive voice as well.
Still, Triplanetary was an interesting look back at what was SF entertainment in 1934. and I can gladly state the the obvious: the genre has come a long way.
Pamela J. Dodd
www.pamelajdodd.com
http://pamspages.blogspot.com/ |
| Posted By : H.P. Lovesauce - 7/25/2007 8:35 AM | | I think the Niven & Pournelle novel that was assigned reading in a Sociology class was Oath of Fealty. Approx. 30 pages in I threw it across the room. |
| Posted By : Daniel - 7/25/2007 2:11 PM | ATLAS SHRUGGED, all one million pages of it! You either love it or you hate it. I tend to lean proletariat. Objectivism...infuriating. But Rand was dissapointing and the story did not move at a quick enough pace to facilitate the read.
***
That's what all we "second-handers" say about Rand! We're just proving her point!!! Who's John Galt!
 
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Daniel - 7/25/2007 2:13 PM | The worst book (s) I've ever read were unpublished mss. found in various slush piles. Believe it or not, the worst published fiction often does not have a chance to compete against the worst unpublished fiction for ""worst ever" bragging rights.
Seems editors are still doing their jobs, somehow....
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Daniel - 7/25/2007 2:15 PM | By the way, Laurence Oliphant was John Hanning Speke's friend, perhaps his lover. He was a great deal of the cause of the rift between Burton and Speke, fanning the flames of Speke's jealosy and fear of inferiority. He was a very well regarded travel writer at the time, and the fanning have been also caused by some jealousy on Oliphant's part, in a literary sense, as Burton was of course known already as one of the Empire's greatest travel writers. Oliphant went down the Volga; Burton went searching for the Nile, took a pilgimage to Mecca, explored the Indus Valley, and many others.
Though Oliphant ran through several fortunes, at least one by marriage even though he was gay, he died a pauper, having been fleeced thoroughly by a spiritualist guru.
***
This is darned interesting, thanks Mike. My wife and brother -in-law are both Richard Francis Burton afficianados, so I know a little bit on the periphery of this stuff.
Cool post.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : charibides - 7/25/2007 3:18 PM | [That's what all we "second-handers" say about Rand! We're just proving her point!!! Whos' John Galt!]
Exactly. Sad but prophetic. I actually had someone try to welcome me into the cabal the other day....  |
| Posted By : Daniel - 7/26/2007 2:00 PM | I actually had someone try to welcome me into the cabal the other day....
***
Really? Do tell. I didn't know there were any Rand cabals left!
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : H.P. Lovesauce - 7/26/2007 2:33 PM | | "Cabals" makes it sound interesting. I've really only met "Objectivists" since coming to America, and my observation so far is that Objectivism is a rationalist philosophy for those who are uncomfortable using religion to justify being dicks. :) |
| Posted By : Daniel - 7/26/2007 2:53 PM | I've really only met "Objectivists" since coming to America, and my observation so far is that Objectivism is a rationalist philosophy for those who are uncomfortable using religion to justify being dicks. :)
***
That's a good one 
I love Ayn Rand, btw, but really not so much what has been made of her philosphy. I admire her romanticism and her capabilities as a novelist. She has some very interesting tendencies. Hmm. I wonder how women readers feel about her "love scenes" which are violent enough to make your typical Hollywood movie look like a stroll down lover's lane!
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : charibides - 7/26/2007 4:12 PM | | It's been years since I've read the novel, but the narrative elements that stick in my mind--and left a bad taste in my mouth--were 1. The fact that Dagney could so easily dump Hank for Galt (thought she'd have more inner fortitude being the tough, go-it-alone, super-capitalist that she was, or at least feel a sense of obligation towards Hank--she couldn't hold a candle to Barbara Stanwyck--not very appealing to any modern day feminist) and 2. When she slobbered (internally, of course) appreciation on the workers who knew their place in life, meaning, yes, you're a pion. You will always be a pion...The country needs pions....Come to think of it...I have been a pion....where am I going with this? |
| Posted By : MichaelEhart - 7/26/2007 9:44 PM | | Honest worst is impossible, but bad on another level is "Pleneurethic and the Brain" written by a guy whose name I have long forgotten. It was a self-published diatribe that wavered between illucid pseudo-science (the author had made up a whole body system, the "bio-ductory system") and religeous rant. I saw him speak, once, and he was so weird I bought his book. The cover was the same institutional green that they used to print "men's literature*" under. Most likely from the same presses.
*medium-level written porn, with a feeble nod toward "redeeming social value" to keep the publishers out of jail. The only title I recall is A Bedside Odyssey by Homer and Associates. The classic story retold as a series of sexual encounters. Dreadful, of course, in its own small way.
UPDATE: OMG! I just googled the title. The guy's name is Richard Bangs Collier and his glorious text is online. Weird beyond belief is that his address is less than 5 miles from where I live. I bought his freakin' book 30 years ago and hundreds of miles away. http://www.pleneurethics.org/index.htm
Read me in 2007!
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" The Sword Review, June 2007
"Servant of the Manthycore" The Sword Review, July 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, Summer 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review, September 2007
"Night of Shadows, Night of Knives" Magic and Mechanica, Fall 2007
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden" Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
|
| Posted By : H.P. Lovesauce - 7/27/2007 12:42 PM |
MichaelEhart said...
UPDATE: OMG! I just googled the title. The guy's name is Richard Bangs Collier and his glorious text is online. Weird beyond belief is that his address is less than 5 miles from where I live. I bought his freakin' book 30 years ago and hundreds of miles away. http://www.pleneurethics.org/index.htm In hindsight... if he's a crazy man, it makes perfect sense he'd make his way to the Internet in due time.  |
| Posted By : Hamstersbane - 7/27/2007 4:21 PM | | Solaris. Man, I hated that book.
Neuromancer is right up there for me, too.
Jeff Parish Caveat Lector
Here there be writers. |
| Posted By : David de Beer - 7/29/2007 7:20 AM | Ulysses, by James Joyce. so much hype surrounded the "greatest book of the 20th century" that it took a while before I gathered that the majority of Joyce-fawns, had never read the book itself, they'd only read the books about the book.
Personally, Ulysses is like an onion - you skin it away layer by layer and at the end you hold nothing in your hands but, man, is there a lot of tears in your eyes!
meandering, self-indulgent, incoherent, bah and meh are the only words I'd use to describe it.
It's like a joke - read the whole thing so you can firsthand experience the utter pointlessness of reading it.
www.livejournal.com/users/david-de-beer
|
| Posted By : Daniel Ausema - 7/29/2007 5:00 PM | For a long time I thought Herbert's God, Emperor of Dune and LeGuin's The Lathe of Heaven shared that title. Nothing against Dune--the first book was great, even rereading it recently, and the second and third books very good too, but that fourth book...well, it certainly wasn't for a 13-year-old. Now I love LeGuin's work--Earthsea, Left Hand of Darkness, even her essays (maybe I should say especially her essays)--but I think I was just too young to try to read it (11? 12?). I've read many other LeGuin books since then but never gone back and tried that one again. The one Eddings book I've read has to be up there--I couldn't stand it. Every character talked as if s/he found her/himself incredibly funny, and the plot involved gods trying to one-up each other. It was embarrassingly bad.
Thinking of Lit classes...I actually ended up enjoying most that I read. I remember strongly disliking Hardy's Mayor of Casterbridge in high school. I actually took it back out and began rereading it a couple of years ago, and there were things I appreciated about it...but not enough to keep reading. And I remember one Victorian novel written in verse that simply could not keep me awake...though that may have had as much to do with the fact that I was physically fatigued from track practice and not getting nearly enough sleep as a freshman in college...
If I wanted, I could probably come up with more, but really most books I've read, even those I haven't liked, I ended up appreciating on some level.
Twigs and Brambles (my writing blog) |
| Posted By : Anthony G Williams - 7/30/2007 2:46 AM |
Daniel Ausema said...
Thinking of Lit classes...I actually ended up enjoying most that I read. I didn't - having to analyse and write about books and plays generally killed any pleasure in reading hem for me. The one exception was Gerald Durrell's My Family and Other Animals, a memoir of an English boy growing up in pre-WW2 Corfu. One of the funniest books I have ever read, and still one of my favourite reads of all time.
|
| Posted By : Dave Hardy - 8/8/2007 2:38 PM | The Four Feathers by AEW Mason. Despite what you may have seen in any movie adaptation, most of it takes place at tea parties in England. A substantial chunk of it is concerned with people who spend their time thinking about what other people think about them. I find this dull (tea parties and self-indulgent navel gazing) in real life, let alone in an overly verbose Edwardian novel.
The Illuminatus Trilogy runs a close second. It seemed to be an ill-digested rehash of pop-culture & conspiracy theories intended to replicate the endlessness and pointlessness that characterizes much of conspiracy culture. Wilson certainly nailed the endless and pointless part. Like an acidhead rambling incoherently about David Icke, it sounds far more interesting than it really is.
I kind of liked Triplanetary. Smith wasn’t a very polished writer, but he kept his business moving. I felt the later Lensman stories are not actually as good as Triplanetary.
Dave Hardy
Fire & Sword
Fire & Sword Blog |
| Posted By : MichaelEhart - 8/8/2007 3:10 PM | A lot of Edwardian stuff is unpalatable to modern audiences. With The Four Feathers, the story itself keeps it alive as a classic; I really doubt many modern readers could generate interest. Dracula suffers from the same problem, with the added old-fashioned trope of being written in epistolic fashion, that is, as a series of letters and diary entries. This was clever and well-received 100 years ago.
Read me in 2007!
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" The Sword Review, June 2007
"Servant of the Manthycore" The Sword Review, July 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, Summer 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review, September 2007
"Night of Shadows, Night of Knives" Magic and Mechanica, Fall 2007
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden" Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
|
| Posted By : Dave Hardy - 8/8/2007 5:05 PM | Michael Elhart said...
With The Four Feathers, the story itself keeps it alive as a classic; I really doubt many modern readers could generate interest. Dracula suffers from the same problem, with the added old-fashioned trope of being written in epistolic fashion, that is, as a series of letters and diary entries. This was clever and well-received 100 years ago.
It is a good story, as the movie adaptations show. They are far superior to the novel, much like Last of the Mohicans. That reminds me, The Deerslayer was poisonously dull. Twain was spot on with “The Literary Crimes of Fenimore Cooper”.
I think Mason also got a boost from being considered “literary” in contrast to Rider Haggard (for instance). Mason affects a “realist” style, where Haggard didn’t mind a bit of unashamed fantasy with lost cities, magic, etc. Therefore Mason is “serious literature” and Haggard “mere entertainment”.
The irony is that Haggard had some experience in Africa as a colonialist in peace and war. While he regularly gets slammed as an imperialist/racist, I’m not so sure you can dismiss Haggard entirely. He wears his liberal imperialism on his sleeve as it were. At least you get a feel that Africa exists in his books and that there are such people as Africans (white and black, no less). All I got from Mason was the notion that people at London tea parties were incredibly stuffy and dull.
-Dave
Dave Hardy
Fire & Sword
Fire & Sword Blog |
| Posted By : Charles Gramlich - 9/7/2007 12:18 AM | I'd vote for Ulysses too. The Metamorphosis is God awful but at least it's short.
Charles Gramlich
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| Posted By : Lane - 9/7/2007 12:34 AM | I like Doc Smith. Does that make me weird?
The worst book I've ever read? Hm. I mean, if we're talking all books, there are some truly, truly awful philosophy books out there. I mean, staggeringly, awfully bad.
If we're talking fiction, then I'd have to say... I don't know the name, but I tried to read a Tom Clancy novel one time. My mom gave it to me.
-L. |
| Posted By : Anthony G Williams - 9/7/2007 12:38 AM | I really don't know what might have been the worst book I've read from cover to cover. These days in particular (life's too short), if a book doesn't grab me I stop reading. So I suppose in my case it would be more accurate to talk about the worst book I've never read. I think that the record, at least recently, was one which I gave up on after just eight pages...
|
| Posted By : Keralen - 9/7/2007 10:17 AM | The worst book experience I ever read (in our genre anyway) was by Lawrence Watt Evans. I can't remember the title, but it's about a guy who finds an entrance to a magical world in his backyard. Yeah, it's an old trope, but I figure I'll try it. So he takes his wife and kid along on this happy adventure. And they're all caught by space pirates and sold into slavery; his wife is murdered; his 8-yr-old daughter is raped to death; the hobbits get sick and die; the magical hero (not the protag) gets castrated; the protag is slapped into a sadistic prison where they allow you to escape only just so far... When he's finally rescued by resistance fighters, they give him the chance to go home but beg him to stay and keep fighting. And the book ends with him NOT DECIDING.
Okay, LWE may have been making a point, but I have never picked up a single book of his since. Sorry, guy. You just didn't play fair. |
| Posted By : James Enge - 9/7/2007 11:03 AM | Lane said...
I like Doc Smith. Does that make me weird?
I like Doc Smith, Joyce and Kafka. They have a special cage for me in the nuthouse, but I keep escaping to tap out these flenbarcle sleggernarpies.
Generally, I agree with Tony Williams: I don't usually feel the compulsion to finish a book if it's showing signs of being really awful. But before I learned that, I read Heinlein's I Will Fear No Evil and The Number of the Beast. Both have somewhat intriguing beginnings; both crash through the Dullness Barrier into a bizarre realm of agonizing tedium unattainable by lesser writers. Later Asimov is not much better.
James Enge
http://jamesenge.com/
"Turn Up This Crooked Way" (selected by Rich Horton for his "Virtual Best" of 2005) in Black Gate 8
"A Covenant with Death" in Flashing Swords 6
"The Red Worm's Way" in Flashing Swords E-Zine Annual
"A Book of Silences" in Black Gate 10
"The Lawless Hours" forthcoming in Black Gate 11 |
| Posted By : Gustavo - 9/7/2007 11:22 AM | Hmm... I liked God-Emperor, and I like most victorians....
But I hated "The Elder Gods" By David and Leigh Eddings. An unmitigated disater with shades of the Teletubbies (everything repeated again and again). Maybe they meant for it to be read by two-year-olds?
As for objectivism - I don't know. It might be logical to trash it in the US or in Europe, where, generally speaking things work, and hard work and dedication are admired. But I live in Argentina, a country where things are much worse, and the fault is 100% attributable to government interference in free enterprise, overregulation, unions, populism and socialism - the things that Rand attacks. Anyone who has a good job in private enterprise (or even just a college degree in business or, god forbid, an MBA) is viewed with suspicion by the majority, and sometimes they almost make you feel like an enemy of the state, despite creating jobs and adding value to the economy. So maybe she should have placed Atlas Shrugged in South America, where, no matter how compassionate one might be, it's very hard not to agree with her. |
| Posted By : ScrewMoonshine - 9/8/2007 12:36 PM | Lane said...
I like Doc Smith. Does that make me weird?
Add me to the weird list. I've only read The Skylark of Space and Skylark Three, but I found both of them startling in their imagination and generally quite good, although the latter novel got a little dry and dull in parts. I've heard a few people refer to the Doc as one of the great writers of Science Fiction.
Robert Orme
Out now:
"On the Tree Top" in Ultraverse vol.3 #5 (www.ultraverse.us)
"The Scab, the Man, and the I.V." in Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review #3 (www.mountzionpress.com)
Coming soon:
"Time in a Capsule" in Unparalleled Journeys II (www.journeybookspublishing.com/)
"Replacing Someone" in Aoife's Kiss #26, September 2008 (http://samsdotpublishing.com/aoife/main.htm)
"More Than One Way to Protect" in Lords of Justice (www.carnifexpress.net/blogs/) |
| Posted By : Jordan Lapp - 9/24/2007 8:29 PM | "To The Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf. The whole first half takes place in one evening where nothing happens. Then she kills her protogonist and the next half is the one afternoon years later ... where nothing happens.
And they never even make it to the @#$% lighthouse.
Jordan Lapp
Managing Editor
|
| Posted By : Daniel - 9/25/2007 8:37 PM | The worst book experience I ever read (in our genre anyway) was by Lawrence Watt Evans.
***
I'll second those emotions. Watt-Evans is a snore.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Keralen - 9/26/2007 8:23 AM |
Daniel said...The worst book experience I ever read (in our genre anyway) was by Lawrence Watt Evans. *** I'll second those emotions. Watt-Evans is a snore.
Did you ever read that one book, though? Does anyone know the title - so we can warn the innocent?? |
| Posted By : Daniel - 9/26/2007 9:42 AM | As for objectivism - I don't know. It might be logical to trash it in the US or in Europe, where, generally speaking things work, and hard work and dedication are admired
***
People trash it but that doesn't mean they should. I love Ayn Rand's work. Pity more Americans don't seem to *understand* it....
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Daniel - 9/26/2007 9:45 AM | Does anyone know the title - so we can warn the innocent??
***
"Out of This World" a daringly original title, I daresay.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Jaqhama - 11/14/2007 12:39 PM | Canal boats in England were (and sometimes still are) pulled along by a horse when the tide is running to fast and strongly in the opposite direction that the boat needs to travel in.
A harness, such as a plough horse wears in a field, is attached to the horse, secured by ropes or straps to the front, sometimes the rear, of the canal boat, and the horse pulls the boat along.
Same thing that is being mentioned here in Russia.
Cheers: Jaq.
You can read some of my stories here:
Swamp Story. Down South. Florida Haze.Wild Justice...
|
| Posted By : adam - 11/29/2007 3:27 PM | Invisible Man by Ralph Waldo Emerson, yeah, I know it's supposed to be a classic, we were force-fed this thick slice of boredom my junior year of high school and thankfully we only had to write a report on it and not take some kind of test. I was able to limp valiantly along through it and see it to the end the night before the report was due. Ah, high school.
Now, this may get me booted from this forum but I also grow tired of Burroughs' work. His books aren't the worst I've ever read, it's just once you've read one John Carter you've read every John Carter. I absolutely love The Land that Time Forgot trilogy though, Bison Press did everyone a favor by publishing the three novels together. The Moon Maid trilogy was excellent as well, thanks again Bison. |
| Posted By : Bill Ward - 11/29/2007 5:02 PM | I think you meant to type Ellison, Adam.
I agree with you about JC, I like the books, especially the first ones, but like anything of that sort they get samey after a while. The trick is not to read them all in one big bunch.
I'm not sure if I can pick a worst book, I try to forget about them, and now-a-days I'd never finish one I thought was bad. I'm surprised to see some of the stuff on here though, great stuff like Robinson Crusoe and Kafka's Metamorphosis.
Actually, looking at Dave Hardy's post I am remembered of how turgid The Last of the Mohicans was. That it was read as adventure fiction by young people at one time truly speaks to the dearth of stimulation those poor kinds most have had to endure.
billwardwriter.com |
| Posted By : MichaelEhart - 11/29/2007 10:07 PM | Ahhh, Daniel. Do not assume that those who hold Rand in distain are incapable of understanding her. I do, thoroughly. I have spoken more than once with Leonard Peikoff, and walked the midnight streets of London debating with Andrew Bernstein. I have several times broken bread with Yaron Brook and his lovely wife. I know a great deal of Objectivism and find it souless, mechanical and selfish, even though these modern leaders of the movement are charming and personable.
Rand was a decent novelist, though too in love with her own voice.
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"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" The Sword Review, June 2007
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"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
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"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden" Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
"Who Comes for the Mother's Fruit" Every Day Fiction, November 2007
"Stand, Stand, Shall They Cry" Flashing Swords, November 2007
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| Posted By : Jordan Lapp - 11/30/2007 1:05 PM | The Mists of Avalon was pretty terrible.
All of the King Arthur mythos to play with and THAT'S what MZB came up with??? It was like she just stripped out all the good parts and we were left with the stuff that wasn't interesting enough to write about the first time.
Jordan Lapp
Managing Editor
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| Posted By : darkbow - 11/30/2007 1:46 PM | Ayn Rand ... geez, where to begin? I'm disgusted by her philosophy, can't stand her politics, and what bio information I've read about her makes me think she was a witch. All that being said, I think she's one of the most facinating novelists of the last hundred years. I love her writing, her characters, her dialogue, all of it. I've yet to find another author who seems so self-assured, at least within the writing itself. Her dialogue is sometimes terse to the point of being more hardboiled than hardboiled, but other times she runs on for pages and pages with some political manifesto. For me, it works. I wish she had put as much time and energy into writing fiction as she did into her crusade.
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| Posted By : Daniel - 12/1/2007 9:55 PM | Ahhh, Daniel. Do not assume that those who hold Rand in distain are incapable of understanding her. I do, thoroughly. I have spoken more than once with Leonard Peikoff, and walked the midnight streets of London debating with Andrew Bernstein. I have several times broken bread with Yaron Brook and his lovely wife. I know a great deal of Objectivism and find it souless, mechanical and selfish, even though these modern leaders of the movement are charming and personable.
Rand was a decent novelist, though too in love with her own voice
***
Impressive, Michael and a well-stated post.
Rand *was* a decent novelist. Bogged down in too much dogma and self-righteousness, but she did well as a novelist overall.
I agree with Darkbow's post: I wish she had put as much time in on writing as crusading. The novels are very good but suffer from bloatedness and irrational scene-construction sometimes.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : humboldthny - 12/2/2007 1:35 AM | The worst book that I've read was Heart of Darkness...mainly it stands out in memory because it was assigned as required reading the last 2 weeks of my senior year in H.S. - so possibly it was just the timing and not the book - but this many years down the road I'm not willing to pick it up again and find out.
The worst book that I've never read was Message in a Bottle by Sparks - 3 pages in and I was ready to scoop my eyes out with a spoon. I should have known better but I was desperate for something to read. |
| Posted By : ScrewMoonshine - 12/2/2007 12:47 PM | humboldthny said...
The worst book that I've read was Heart of Darkness...mainly it stands out in memory because it was assigned as required reading the last 2 weeks of my senior year in H.S. - so possibly it was just the timing and not the book - but this many years down the road I'm not willing to pick it up again and find out.
I read that one just recently. It's a fascinating book, and blessedly short, but definitely not a good choice for high school required reading.
Robert Orme
Out now:
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"On the Tree Top" in Ultraverse vol.3 #5 (www.ultraverse.us)
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Coming soon:
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"More Than One Way to Protect" in Lords of Justice (www.carnifexpress.net/blogs/) |
| Posted By : Despiciblus - 12/2/2007 3:54 PM | The worst book I’ve ever read has to be Jean Auel’s Clan of the Cave Bear. The book is racist (a blond, blue-eyed heroine helps the dimwitted, dark Neanderthals), and badly written. Also, according to a few anthropologists I’ve spoken to, Auel’s stinker is responsible for popularizing some really bad science. I haven’t read any of the sequels, but I’m told they’re worse.
Finally, I think I must be a nut job because I like James Joyce, and I’ve read Conrad’s Heart of Darkness a half dozen times. On purpose!
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| Posted By : Bill Ward - 12/2/2007 8:01 PM | Not at all, Heart of Darkness is brilliant, a classic. As humboldthny suggests it was possibly the circumstances and not the book that soured it: I hope he gives it another chance.
I stopped reading Clan of the Cave Bear after thirty pages or so, I thought it was badly written also (or poorly translated?) and I remember some goofy bit about racial memory popping up to really turn me off. Its ok in SF, but I was expecting something more akin to anthropology than fantasy.
billwardwriter.com |
| Posted By : humboldthny - 12/2/2007 9:46 PM | Bill Ward said...
Not at all, Heart of Darkness is brilliant, a classic. As humboldthny suggests it was possibly the circumstances and not the book that soured it: I hope he gives it another chance.
I'm a she..... 
I may someday....just too much other stuff I'd like to read at the moment. I'm not in classics mode right now |
| Posted By : Bill Ward - 12/2/2007 11:14 PM | Then consider that a typo ma'am
Best to read it when you are in the mood for that sort of thing, which is exactly why high school assigned reading can be the worst way to be introduced to a book (though not always).
billwardwriter.com |
| Posted By : Jordan Lapp - 12/3/2007 3:20 PM | I loved Heart of Darkness also, but I agree that it may be a little too advanced for High School.
Believe it or not, it helped that I'd watched Apocalypse Now, as I knew that the confrontation with Kurtz would be an interesting climax.
Jordan Lapp
Managing Editor
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| Posted By : nathan - Today 8:08 PM | liked it. I often find myself in agreement with Bill W--to a shocking degree. He just seems so hip and smart when I find his opinions corespond with mine.
Love Heart of Darkness--but damn how is any but an insightful reader suppossed to get through in HS with such dramatic changes in languge these days.
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"Writing the wet dreams of teenage boys" - Lindsey Llyod, Tangent Reviews
Tarantino himself has been forward and unapologetic about his influences. In a 1994 interview with Empire magazine, he said, "I steal from every single movie ever made. If people don't like that, then tough tills, don't go and see it, all right? I steal from everything. Great artists steal, they don't do homages." |
| Posted By : Daniel - 12/6/2007 10:04 PM | The worst book I’ve ever read has to be Jean Auel’s Clan of the Cave Bear.
***
An insidiously bad novel, I agree. There are scenes in that novel (other than the sex scenes) which are so embarassing, I don't know who should be more ashamed, the author or poor fools like me who read the dang thing.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Daniel - 12/6/2007 10:06 PM | I was expecting something more akin to anthropology than fantasy.
***
Try "Quest for Fire" -- a really good prehistoric-age novel. Even in translation.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Daniel - 12/6/2007 10:09 PM | Here's another really bad novel "Sleepers" by Lorenzo Carcaterra. Someone recommended this book to me and I read it, but really wish I hadn't. It is so exploitative and "mean" in its portrayal of child-abuse and revenge, a real turn-off and it sticks in your head the way bad fast-food sticks in your guts.
I need a brain-flush to get novels like this and nearly everything I've ever seen on television right out of my head.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : Daniel - 12/6/2007 10:12 PM | And one more bad novel for the gallery! "Lucky Jim" by Kingsley Amis. I was assigned this novel in college and found it turgid, pompous, sexist, and racist -- you know things I usually gravitate right toward.
LOL
Kingsley Amis is a snore. His son, Martin, I really like his novels. Time's Arrow, Money, Success. All 3 of these I'd call brilliant.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel |
| Posted By : RoberII - 5/12/2008 5:51 PM | Noone mentioned Eragon?
I do! Eragon! How did that book ever get published, much less turned into an (equally bad) movie? |
| Posted By : ScrewMoonshine - 5/13/2008 3:24 PM | It was basically self-published, wasn't it?
Robert Orme
Out now:
"More Than One Way to Protect" in Lords of Justice (www.carnifexpress.net/)
"Time in a Capsule" in Unparalleled Journeys II (www.journeybookspublishing.com/)
"On the Tree Top" in Ultraverse vol.3 #5 (www.ultraverse.us)
"The Scab, the Man, and the I.V." in Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review #3 (www.mountzionpress.com)
Coming soon:
"Replacing Someone" in Aoife's Kiss #26, September 2008 (http://samsdotpublishing.com/aoife/main.htm) |
| Posted By : crystalwizard - 5/14/2008 4:41 PM | ScrewMoonshine said...
It was basically self-published, wasn't it?
Robert Orme
Not really. The kid's parents published it and they own a publishing company so that's a pretty far cry from what most people mean when they say 'self-published'. |
| Posted By : Xenophon Hendrix - 5/23/2008 11:13 AM | The worst book I actually finished was Hart's Hope by Orson Scott Card. I thought much of the behavior of the characters was contrary to human nature and that the incidents in the book were revolting.
Somewhere on Card's blog he says that he thinks it's his best book.
Magician's Merger |
| Posted By : bleacheddecay - 9/19/2008 11:56 AM | The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka is one of my worst reads of all time. Supernatural Lit was a bit of let down in college and this book was but one reason why!
bleacheddecay |
| Posted By : SJHigbee - 9/22/2008 12:42 PM | Don't know if it's the WORST book I've ever read - but it certainly was one of the most disappointing... "The Horse Whisperer" by Nicholas Evans. I thought the first two thirds impressively good. And then - the last third of the book was a total crock. The ending seemed rushed and ill thought-out. The film, by comparison, was a far better version as the male hero didn't decide to end it all under the hooves of a horse...
I had thought it was just an aberation - until I attempted "The Loop" - and after reading the ending of that - SO stereotypically neat, after setting up a really interesting plot - that book went flying across the room and I haven't bothered to wear out my eyes on any of his work since. Don't think my blood pressure could take it... I found it far harder to accept someone who could clearly write - but still badly short-changed the reader on the ending.
www.sjhigbee.com |
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