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| SFReader Forums > Writing > Poetry > wannabe poet... | Forum Quick Jump
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 |  MysticWino anarchist fringe monkey boddhisatva

       Date Joined May 2007 Total Posts : 1565 | Posted 5/12/2008 1:18 PM (GMT -4) |   | Richard, I tend to go to two main sources as "authorities": The New Princeton Encyclopedia of Poetry and Poetics, and the book on literary terms by M.H.Abrams - I think it's M.H. anyway. My prof still has my copy. And it's pricey, so I won't replace it soon. I also trust my own experience and intuition. AND, I also take feedback with as open a mind as I can. To be honest, I tend to dismiss about ninety percent of it; however, I am totally grateful for all of it because it gives me a way to guage myself against myself and others' opinions. I had a story rejected a while back because its characters were flat. They were. Because they were supposed to be. It was about JAZZ, not about the incidental characters. But the editor totally missed the forest for seeing the trees as cardboard cutouts. Did I change the story? No way! Has it been published elsewhere? Not yet. But it will be. In the end, writing is an art. Art has no absolutes. That means that there are many right answers. And many wrong. It is very situational. That's the value of detailed feedback. Why? is more important than Yes or No. And, in the game of writing markets, the guy writing the check is right.  Read me in The Return of the Sword! Blog: http://bitterhermit.wordpress.com Buy wine: http://fringemonkey.org Poetry Blog: http://fringemonkey.wordpress.com
"The schizophrenic is drowning in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight." --Joseph Campbell | | Back to Top | | |
 |  RHFay Sage

       Date Joined Nov 2007 Total Posts : 1549 | Posted 5/12/2008 1:42 PM (GMT -4) |   |
MysticWino said... To be honest, I tend to dismiss about ninety percent of it; however, I am totally grateful for all of it because it gives me a way to guage myself against myself and others' opinions... I am probably slowly moving towards that point as I compose more pieces and get more opinions. I try to be grateful, too, but sometimes my emotions get the better of me.
Then I should stop and realise that a negative criticism is often only one opinion among many, nothing more, nothing less.
And yes, the guy or gal writing the check or accepting the piece (a few decent speculative poetry publications are non-paying venues) is ultimately right in terms of writing for publication. And even then opinions can differ. Sometimes my works get picked up first time out; at other times it takes several tries before I find the right market for a particular piece.
No real absolutes - I think that's what I've been trying to say all along.
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!"
Richard H. Fay - Azure Lion Productions
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 |  RoberII Stablehand
        Date Joined May 2008 Total Posts : 17 | Posted 5/12/2008 2:01 PM (GMT -4) |   | I agree that the story is about the battle, not the actual divination. But the augur is still the main character insofar as there is one, and he is still left in a descriptive vaccuum.
As for imagination.. There is the question of balancing description and imagination, and of over-describing. But there is no real chance of overdescriptiveness in as short a poem as a cinquain. Why NOT describe him?
And of course beautiful isn't 'off-limits' for the very reasons you mention - but when we are ONLY told that something is beautiful or evil or whatever, then the story suffers. Unless, of course, the writer is going for a specific effect, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.
As for artistic "rules" and the relativism thereof, you're of course right, to a degree. None of the rules are ALWAYS correct, and most of them are elastic. However, the fact that we should sometimes tell instead of show does not make the entire rule of "show, don't tell" invalid and completely subjective. Nor does the fact that people disagree about the degree to which things should be shown.
Not really absolute, but not really subjective, either. | | Back to Top | | |
 |  RHFay Sage

       Date Joined Nov 2007 Total Posts : 1549 | Posted 5/12/2008 2:09 PM (GMT -4) |   |
RoberII said... Not really absolute, but not really subjective, either. And there is where I respectively disagree, based upon my personal observations and experience. When I see the same poem receive two completely different responses regarding the relative importance of "show, don't tell" from two different and yet equally skilled editors or readers, then I start to think that the whole concept of "show, don't tell" may indeed be rather subjective.
And it's happened to me more than once so far.
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!"
Richard H. Fay - Azure Lion Productions
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 |  MysticWino anarchist fringe monkey boddhisatva

       Date Joined May 2007 Total Posts : 1565 | Posted 5/13/2008 2:44 PM (GMT -4) |   | I'm hoping this will help clear up something, Richard:
Editors are as unique as any other given group of people. People in general think/learn/decide from the standpoint of several modalities or types of intelligence/rationalization. An editor who is fairly young and deals mostly with fiction is generally likely to look at the work from a visual modality, which holds the mantra "show, don't tell". It's now more common than the "i before e except after c . . ." thing for spelling taught in grade school (or home school ).
An editor like myself who deals with more poetry than fiction is likely to read poetry more from a auditory modality - 'reading with his ears' as I call it. This may shift toward the visual modality if the poem is obviously a narrative poem vs. a lyrical poem. It also depends on which particular school of thought for which the editor holds most esteem. If, gods forgive him, he's fallen into the Imagist misunderstanding of poetry, then he's likely to be totally visual. All editors should have one hemisphere of their brain in the verbal modality, but I've seen too much evidence to ignore that many editors tend to be too squarely in the visual.
Haiku and short verse poetry tends to hold different expectations, depending on the editor's understanding of 1) poetry in general; 2) haiku in general; 3) poetic theory and tradition; 4) haiku theory and tradition; 5) the editor's own biases toward short verse forms. Some may expect the strict tradition to be followed, and the 5-7-5 template. Some may want the "zen moment". Some may expect either a clear picture or a strong visceral reaction. Some may expect only season and nature and begrudge anything human in the poem. Others may want the zen moment with a strong image and a visceral reaction. And then there are those who will be so biased that they will only consider a short verse if it slaps them upside the head and jars something loose.
Given these variables, is it any wonder you might have such disparate feedback? It comes down to a simple binary: yes/no; however, the path to that binary is quite complex.
And then there's the fact that we editor types can be moody - and we, generally speaking of course, tend toward poor nutrition, too much caffiene, not enough rest, and too-long sessions of working without breaks and/or exercise. We earn respect by working our fingers to the bone, and that can make us a bit cranky when challenged in any way posibly conceived of as disrespectful. Read me in The Return of the Sword! Blog: http://bitterhermit.wordpress.com Buy wine: http://fringemonkey.org Poetry Blog: http://fringemonkey.wordpress.com
"The schizophrenic is drowning in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight." --Joseph Campbell | | Back to Top | | |
    |  RHFay Sage

       Date Joined Nov 2007 Total Posts : 1549 | Posted 5/17/2008 4:09 PM (GMT -4) |   |
Bitter Irony said...Great job at turning venting into something productive!  I wonder if your wannabe would recognize her/himself if s/he read this... But what's up with the last line? It completely restates the idea of the first two!
Yep, the person has commented that this poem is about him. It was basically my way of dealing with what I perceived, even if I did possibly misinterpret what was said.
As for the last line restating the first two - as you pointed out, it is something seen in western haiku. I understand the dislike for such a thing, but since this poem was merely a product of venting, I'm not too worried about it.
However, it is a point to keep in mind. It might be done in western haiku, but it's certainly not always the best way to compose a haiku. (Would "wannabe poet" technically be a senyru instead of a haiku because of its subject matter? I'm not confident enough in my knowledge of Japanese forms of poetry to definitely call it one or the other.)
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!"
Richard H. Fay - Azure Lion Productions
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 |  Bitter Irony Grammar Goddess and Spelling Sinner

       Date Joined Jun 2007 Total Posts : 81 | Posted 5/17/2008 4:40 PM (GMT -4) |   | The jury is still out on "senryu" and "haiku" in English. In my opinion, such distinctions belong to Japanese poetry, where the devisions are more clear anyway (haiku use kigo/season words, senryu don't, etc.) Short verse in English take the form places where I doubt the Japanese ever expected it to go, for example, a combination of human action and a natural observation. And then there are short verses, like this one, that observe concepts and personal attitudes. Those who make the distinction would call it a senryu; those who consider all short verse to be basically the same genre (as I do, and I think many other English-writing haijin do as well) would simply call it haiku.
Whew, I think that made sense. This website has a bit to say about the subject: http://members.tripod.com/~Startag/HkSenDiff.html, and the writer is a good deal more expert and coherant than I am.
I wasn't quite clear about the "repeating the image" thing in western haiku: what I meant is that it is an amateur's idea, rather than an aknowledged and accepted haiku technique. As you said, it's hardly an issue here, where the poem is a product of venting. However, it appears with startling frequency in speculative haiku and its related forms. For example,
blood-red lips in a white face vampire lover
...repeats the same gosh-dang image, while
new moon... in the skin of his neck two black holes
...gets the same image across without repeating anything. (Heck, turn the last two lines of the second haiku into the first two of the first, and it works just as well.) This is the difference between showing and telling in haiku/cinquain/tanka/whathaveyou. Telling presents an image or idea outright; showing lets the reader experience it for him/herself.
~Bitter Irony
P.S. The two haiku above were typed spur-of-the-moment: the poet may not be held responsible for any headaches induced by their flimsy-ness.  From even the greatest of horrors, Irony is seldom absent.
~H.P. Lovecraft, The Shunned House
And here I begin my foray into the dark and deadly waters of e-zine editing...
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 |  RHFay Sage

       Date Joined Nov 2007 Total Posts : 1549 | Posted 5/18/2008 2:04 PM (GMT -4) |   | |
But, but, but...if the repetition is fairly common in speculative haiku, and it is accepted by writers of speculative haiku and editors that publish speculative haiku, why call it "amateurish"? Why call it wrong? You said yourself that haiku in English are a bit different than Japanese haiku, and speculative haiku are even different still from their distant Japanese origins.
This has been my point all along about personal opinions and poetic authorities. Why is one person's opinion more correct than another? Isn't it ultimately up to the editors and readers of speculative poetry to decide what's right or what's wrong? And individual opinions will differ, regardless of what "poetic rules and ideals" are thrown around. After all, I've alredy been told previously that speculative poetry is more of a "folk art" than a "fine art", which I take to mean it follows the rules set forth by the people (the folk), not necessarily the literary (or poetic) academics.
So, speculative haiku might not always live up to the haiku "ideal". For the sake of ruffling a few feathers, so what? If what's done works for the majority of editors, readers, and writers of speculative poetry, does it truly matter from a practical standpoint if something like the repetition isn't "proper" to "true" haiku?
Would a movement away from the "repetition" be better? Probably. Do I view it as "necessary"? No, not if it works at this point in time for the intended markets and intended audience. Can speculative haiku, or speculative poetry in general, benefit from more influence from "literary" poetry. Again, probably, but the rules for speculative poetry may be a bit looser than those for "literary" poetry.
This is why I'm beginning to take everything said everywhere with a healthy dose of of salt. One should always listen to feedback from individuals, but one should always consider the bigger picture as well.
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!"
Richard H. Fay - Azure Lion Productions
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 |  Bitter Irony Grammar Goddess and Spelling Sinner

       Date Joined Jun 2007 Total Posts : 81 | Posted 5/18/2008 3:06 PM (GMT -4) |   | | But is the repetition accepted by writers and editors of speculative haiku? Even if it is, what readers want to read something lacking in surprise or depth of meaning? The point of haiku--any haiku, even speculative ones--is to present an interesting image in the way it was "experienced" by the poet (not literally, of course, in the case of spec. haiku). If the image was experienced in a nondescript, repetative way, what makes the poet think it is worth writing a haiku about? Why would anyone want to read it?
This doesn't even pertain to the art of haiku-writing per se, but writing in general. What is surprising, unique, and unpredicted often gets a stronger response than spelling out answers for the reader. I'm not a big fan of picking sides over "popular vs. literary," but I'll always take "exciting and powerful" over anything else, no matter how popular or literary the alternative may be.
I guess it all comes down to the question: what is the poet trying to accomplish with the repetition? I have the feeling it has more to do with getting the poem finished than with getting a response for the reader.
~Bitter Irony
From even the greatest of horrors, Irony is seldom absent.
~H.P. Lovecraft, The Shunned House
And here I begin my foray into the dark and deadly waters of e-zine editing...
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 |  crystalwizard Forum Moderator

       Date Joined Nov 2006 Total Posts : 4578 | Posted 5/19/2008 2:13 AM (GMT -4) |   | >speculative haiku
I'll repeat this one more time. There is no such thing. There is speculative short verse that mimics the haiku form. But Haiku is a specific thing with specific rules, which the speculative creature breaks without even apologizing.
And calling such poems 'horroku' or 'scifiku' or 'anythingelseaku' doesn't change that. | | Back to Top | | |
   |  RHFay Sage

       Date Joined Nov 2007 Total Posts : 1549 | Posted 5/19/2008 1:56 PM (GMT -4) |   |
MysticWino said... Took me years to get over; and I still have regressions ocassionally and get bent about people not reading it right. But . . . they are reading it right for them. Once I've placed it in front of someone else, it's theirs to enjoy or not. Hmm...sounds suspiciously like my argument that a lot boils down to different opinions and different perceptions.
I could probably take some of these "repetitive speculative haiku" and argue that, for some at least, the last line isn't so much repeating the idea of the previous lines as it's seeing the same thing from a slightly different perspective. Or perhaps reinforcing the idea from a slightly different angle.
Then again, maybe I'm too kind in my assessment. I guess, when it comes to haiku, I'm a dabbler (amateur?) instead of a hard-core haikuist.
Do I want to improve my craft? Of course, any artist worth his or her salt does. Do I want to spend all my time working on one or two haiku, or spend years studying this stuff before I get my hands dirty? Of course not! (I was told elsewhere that certain writers of haiku would take years working on certain individual haiku. That seems unpractical and rather absurd to me. Maybe it was fine for them, but it's not fine for me. I have other things to do with my life, thank you very much.)
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!"
Richard H. Fay - Azure Lion Productions
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 |  RHFay Sage

       Date Joined Nov 2007 Total Posts : 1549 | Posted 5/19/2008 2:20 PM (GMT -4) |   |
crystalwizard said... >speculative haiku
I'll repeat this one more time. There is no such thing. There is speculative short verse that mimics the haiku form. But Haiku is a specific thing with specific rules, which the speculative creature breaks without even apologizing.
And calling such poems 'horroku' or 'scifiku' or 'anythingelseaku' doesn't change that. Frustrated with this whole labelling issue, I've tried to say I won't call my works anything anymore and let the reader decide which name, label, or definition fits. I caught heck elsewhere for that comment, basically being told I present the rules for haiku and then write haiku that break the rules and try to call them something else to justify breaking the rules.
Frankly, I'm fed up with it all. I hate to say it, but all forms of poetry in general, and haiku in particular, seem to carry a dreadful amount of baggage. In other words, it's so very easy to be critical of certain poems based on various definitions, rules, and perceptions of form. The idea of poetry for pleasure, for enjoyment, doesn't really seem to exist anymore, if it ever truly did.
Keep in mind that my frustration regarding poetry is bleeding over from various aspects of my life - not just the discussions here on SFReader. For example, I just had a final stanza chopped from one of my recently published poems, so the whole idea of poetry right now is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Good thing I've just about got enough poems for that special project, because I'm getting ready to concentrate on prose and art for a while. I think I need to step back from intense poetry composing and give my poetry muse a break.
I may have actually done too much too quickly, and now I'm a bit burned out by it all.
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!"
Richard H. Fay - Azure Lion Productions
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  |  RHFay Sage

       Date Joined Nov 2007 Total Posts : 1549 | Posted 5/19/2008 3:24 PM (GMT -4) |   |
MysticWino said......what's a crusty bit of white bread like me know about Zen and haiku?
That statement is undoubtedly truer for me. The fact that I write haiku at all is pretty contrary to my usual nature. I prefer longer works, stories versus moments.
And maybe that's my real problem. Perhaps I truly don't understand the "spirit" of haiku, and perhaps I never will. I don't think it's something that can necessarily be taught; I think it needs to be in your heart, in your soul.
Still, if I get ideas (brain's runnin' on empty at this very moment), I'll keep plugging away at my speculative haiku mutations. And if they don't meet with the haiku ideal, well, at least I tried to do something with my ideas.
It is better to try and to fail than to never try at all.
"I'm going to do what the warriors of old did. I'm going to recite poetry!"
Richard H. Fay - Azure Lion Productions
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 |  RoberII Stablehand
        Date Joined May 2008 Total Posts : 17 | Posted 5/19/2008 8:05 PM (GMT -4) |   | Richard, the idea of poetry as enjoyment is at the very core of this entire discussion, not label rule bashery. But what makes a poem enjoyable? There are certain things that makes any writing enjoyable, and these things are expressed as rules - show, don't tell, don't repeat yourself, etc etc etc.
Of course, everyone has a different idea of what is enjoyable, but that doesn't change the fact that the rules hold true at least 90 % of the time. But some people just really want to read about vampires or dragons or whatnot, and will happily read the crappiest poetry out there to read about these things. (I also believe this is the reason why some of the pregnant-woman anime artists out there are so popular. That doesn't make them any better artists, of course. Also: Eragon. Also Britney Spears. Some people will do anything to themselves if they can only dance as they suffer.)
As for repetition.. IMHO, the fact that it may be accepted by editors makes no difference as to whether or not it is good writing. And by good I mean powerful. You yourself admitted that it is (probably) better to avoid repetition, so why not do it? Why accept mediocre writing when you can make it better, especially if you're getting paid for it? From what I have heard from you about which poems get published, I'm guessing that you could get Bitter Irony's first poem published, but that doesn't really change the fact that the second one is better. Personally, I would probably be somewhat iffed if I had paid good money for the first one, but not in the second case. At least it tells a story and sets my imagination going.
Why would anyone want to read a poem that is basically just a generic description of an object? A description which carries no emotional impact or tells any kind of story?
PS
I could tell that your, err, poem was about me, yes, but I certainly don't recognize myself in it. | | Back to Top | | |
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