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| SFReader Forums > SF Fiction and Art > Books You Should Read > WORST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ | Forum Quick Jump
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Bookworm
Stablehand
      
Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 38
| Posted 7/15/2007 3:12 PM (GMT -4) |   |
The full title of this monster piece is, "The Russian Shores of the Black Sea in the Autum of 1852 With a Voyage Down the Volga And a Tour Through the Country of the Don Cossacks," written by Laurence Oliphant.
I have scanned the first page of this book so you can read what this book is really like, and I don't have to spend the rest of the day ranting and venting (Click on Attachment Manager below). The second sentence of the book contains 14 lines of type-123 words in all. (Yes, I read the whole thing--297 pages.)
This is a very old travel book, as you can tell from the title. And it is very confusing--we begin at St. Petersburg and many times after that I had to go back and see if we are going to Moscow, or not, or are we still in St. Pete's. And frustrating to read. The Russians had a device mounted on a boat. A horse walks on the device, and the boat rows itself upstream. How does this wonder work? Don't ask me. I read Oliphant's description a dozen times, and I have no idea what it looks like, or how it works.
I did some webcrawling for both the book and the author--and this book has never been out of print since it's first printing in 1852. Many people have said this is a good book. Don't believe them.
Read at your own risk. This is not a book, it is a learning experience. Getting stabbed in the eye with a sharp stick is a learning experience too.
Enjoy.
Lee
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Camille Alexa
fictionista
Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 599
| Posted 7/15/2007 3:25 PM (GMT -4) | |
Bookworm said...
[...] Read at your own risk. This is not a book, it is a learning experience. Getting stabbed in the eye with a sharp stick is a learning experience too.
Enjoy.
Lee
You are cracking me up!
I actually found this snippet really interesting, though my attention-deficit mind and I shudder at the thought of reading 297 pages of it (or even 12). I admire your perseverance. | | Back to Top | | |
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erazmus
Master
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 4474
| Posted 7/15/2007 11:52 PM (GMT -4) | | | | |
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MichaelEhart
Sage
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 2314
| Posted 7/16/2007 12:44 AM (GMT -4) | | The worst book I ever read was written by my wife's uncle, about his experiences in the Negro League in the late fifties. The subject and the anecdotes were fascinating, but his editor had severely fallen down on the job. There were 10-15 typos per page, no semblance of ordered narrative, dreadful errors in grammar, syntax, spelling and usage.
Oh, but the stories! Catching for Satchel Paige, seeing Jackie Robinson play his first season in the Majors, stories of travelling in the country on the team bus. I devoured every word, with painfully gritted teeth. :)
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden", Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" , Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review. September 2007
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, July 2007
"The Death of Number 23" Dark Krypt, Fall 2006
"Servant of the Manthycore" Sword Review, July 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" Sword Review, June 2007
"Dancing with the Elder Gods"-- Thirteen Magazine, October 2005
"It's a Living" Byzarium---November 2005
"An Exorcism Straight, Hold the Elvis" The Sword Review, October 2005
Host, 2005 Nebula Awards Live Chat, sff.net
http://mehart.blogspot.com/ | | Back to Top | | |
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MichaelEhart
Sage
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 2314
| Posted 7/16/2007 12:49 AM (GMT -4) | | By the way, Laurence Oliphant was John Hanning Speke's friend, perhaps his lover. He was a great deal of the cause of the rift between Burton and Speke, fanning the flames of Speke's jealosy and fear of inferiority. He was a very well regarded travel writer at the time, and the fanning have been also caused by some jealousy on Oliphant's part, in a literary sense, as Burton was of course known already as one of the Empire's greatest travel writers. Oliphant went down the Volga; Burton went searching for the Nile, took a pilgimage to Mecca, explored the Indus Valley, and many others.
Though Oliphant ran through several fortunes, at least one by marriage even though he was gay, he died a pauper, having been fleeced thoroughly by a spiritualist guru.
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden", Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" , Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review. September 2007
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, July 2007
"The Death of Number 23" Dark Krypt, Fall 2006
"Servant of the Manthycore" Sword Review, July 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" Sword Review, June 2007
"Dancing with the Elder Gods"-- Thirteen Magazine, October 2005
"It's a Living" Byzarium---November 2005
"An Exorcism Straight, Hold the Elvis" The Sword Review, October 2005
Host, 2005 Nebula Awards Live Chat, sff.net
http://mehart.blogspot.com/ | | Back to Top | | |
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Bookworm
Stablehand
Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 38
| Posted 7/16/2007 4:49 PM (GMT -4) | | Since some people are asking: I got to about page ten and I was ready to scream! This is not a book...It's a....It's a....
Like climbing Everest! You just have to grit your teeth and not let the mountain beat you! | | Back to Top | | |
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charibides
Stablehand
Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 5
| Posted 7/24/2007 4:48 PM (GMT -4) | | | ATLAS SHRUGGED, all one million pages of it! You either love it or you hate it. I tend to lean proletariat. Objectivism...infuriating. But Rand was dissapointing and the story did not move at a quick enough pace to facilitate the read. | | Back to Top | | |
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MichaelEhart
Sage
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 2314
| Posted 7/24/2007 9:20 PM (GMT -4) | | If we ever meet at a con, remind me to tell you about my (in a previous life) facilitating a world conference of Objectivists for the Ayn Rand Institute. Buy me several drinks, first.
Read me in 2007!
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" The Sword Review, June 2007
"Servant of the Manthycore" The Sword Review, July 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, Summer 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review, September 2007
"Night of Shadows, Night of Knives" Magic and Mechanica, Fall 2007
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden" Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
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H.P. Lovesauce
Necronomicondiment
Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 574
| Posted 7/25/2007 9:35 AM (GMT -4) | | | I think the Niven & Pournelle novel that was assigned reading in a Sociology class was Oath of Fealty. Approx. 30 pages in I threw it across the room. | | Back to Top | | |
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Daniel
Carl Jung's Waterboy
Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 4515
| Posted 7/25/2007 3:15 PM (GMT -4) | | By the way, Laurence Oliphant was John Hanning Speke's friend, perhaps his lover. He was a great deal of the cause of the rift between Burton and Speke, fanning the flames of Speke's jealosy and fear of inferiority. He was a very well regarded travel writer at the time, and the fanning have been also caused by some jealousy on Oliphant's part, in a literary sense, as Burton was of course known already as one of the Empire's greatest travel writers. Oliphant went down the Volga; Burton went searching for the Nile, took a pilgimage to Mecca, explored the Indus Valley, and many others.
Though Oliphant ran through several fortunes, at least one by marriage even though he was gay, he died a pauper, having been fleeced thoroughly by a spiritualist guru.
***
This is darned interesting, thanks Mike. My wife and brother -in-law are both Richard Francis Burton afficianados, so I know a little bit on the periphery of this stuff.
Cool post.
"Art is the celebration of the ego's destruction."
Daniel | | Back to Top | | |
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charibides
Stablehand
Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 5
| Posted 7/25/2007 4:18 PM (GMT -4) | | [That's what all we "second-handers" say about Rand! We're just proving her point!!! Whos' John Galt!]
Exactly. Sad but prophetic. I actually had someone try to welcome me into the cabal the other day....  | | Back to Top | | |
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H.P. Lovesauce
Necronomicondiment
Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 574
| Posted 7/26/2007 3:33 PM (GMT -4) | | | "Cabals" makes it sound interesting. I've really only met "Objectivists" since coming to America, and my observation so far is that Objectivism is a rationalist philosophy for those who are uncomfortable using religion to justify being dicks. :) | | Back to Top | | |
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charibides
Stablehand
Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 5
| Posted 7/26/2007 5:12 PM (GMT -4) | | | It's been years since I've read the novel, but the narrative elements that stick in my mind--and left a bad taste in my mouth--were 1. The fact that Dagney could so easily dump Hank for Galt (thought she'd have more inner fortitude being the tough, go-it-alone, super-capitalist that she was, or at least feel a sense of obligation towards Hank--she couldn't hold a candle to Barbara Stanwyck--not very appealing to any modern day feminist) and 2. When she slobbered (internally, of course) appreciation on the workers who knew their place in life, meaning, yes, you're a pion. You will always be a pion...The country needs pions....Come to think of it...I have been a pion....where am I going with this? | | Back to Top | | |
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MichaelEhart
Sage
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 2314
| Posted 7/26/2007 10:44 PM (GMT -4) | | | Honest worst is impossible, but bad on another level is "Pleneurethic and the Brain" written by a guy whose name I have long forgotten. It was a self-published diatribe that wavered between illucid pseudo-science (the author had made up a whole body system, the "bio-ductory system") and religeous rant. I saw him speak, once, and he was so weird I bought his book. The cover was the same institutional green that they used to print "men's literature*" under. Most likely from the same presses.
*medium-level written porn, with a feeble nod toward "redeeming social value" to keep the publishers out of jail. The only title I recall is A Bedside Odyssey by Homer and Associates. The classic story retold as a series of sexual encounters. Dreadful, of course, in its own small way.
UPDATE: OMG! I just googled the title. The guy's name is Richard Bangs Collier and his glorious text is online. Weird beyond belief is that his address is less than 5 miles from where I live. I bought his freakin' book 30 years ago and hundreds of miles away. http://www.pleneurethics.org/index.htm
Read me in 2007!
"The View From the Shotglass Floor" Ray Gun Revival, Feb 2007
"Voice of the Spoiler" The Sword Review, June 2007
"Servant of the Manthycore" The Sword Review, July 2007
"Darkling I Listen; and for Many a Time" Fear and Trembling, coming soon!
"Weaving Spiders Come Not Here" The Sword Review, August 2007
"Six Zombies Doing That Mick Jagger Strut" Damned in Dixie, Summer 2007
"Nothing But Our Tears" The Sword Review, September 2007
"Night of Shadows, Night of Knives" Magic and Mechanica, Fall 2007
"The Scarlet Colored Beast" The Sword Review, October 2007
"The Stars by Law, Forbidden" Unparalleled Journeys II, November 2007
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