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| SFReader Forums > SFReader > Anything Goes! > Firefly, ultracondensed | Forum Quick Jump
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Phy
Neophyte
      
Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 84
| Posted 1/22/2007 9:56 PM (GMT -5) |   | http://raygunrevival.com/Forum/posting.php?mode=editpost&p=4188
Book-A-Minute SF/F features ultracondensed SF/F classics, like the bunnies. I started reading these and totally lost track of time.
Here's a sample:
Splinter of the Mind's Eye
By Alan Dean Foster
[quote]Leia Organa
Horror. We're stranded on a jungle-infested planet where the
Empire has a secret operations base.
Luke Skywalker
We'll have to have some romantic tension, then.
Readers
Ewww!! Eeewwww!!!!!!
THE END
I whipped up a Firefly treatment just for fun:
Firefly
by Joss Whedon
ultracondensed by Johne Cook
Mal:
I love you, God, almost as much as I love the Browncoats!
(Browncoats lose)
Mal:
I hate you, God, and will pout about this until the series suffers an untimely cancellation!
Jayne:
I will lie and betray you all at any moment!
(It's a lie. Or is it?)
Shepherd Book:
I'm not worthy! Have a strawberry while I wait for the second season.
River Tam:
I am barefoot and nothing I say makes any sense. Or does it?
Kaylie:
Simon, you're so hot!
Simon:
Sorry, what? Where's my crazy barefoot sister?
While getting new work / protecting the ship and crew / just hanging around, Mal is: slapped, punched, gouged, sliced, shot, paralyzed, frozen, starved for oxygen, stripped, electrocuted, killed, revived, shot again, stabbed, bodyslammed, and kissed.
For reasons too complex to go into here, the kissing is the worst.
Reavers:
Grr, argh!
Wash:
I'm a leaf on the YAAARRRGGG!
Zoe:
Take me now, Mal. Psych!
Inara and Mal:
I don't love you!
Readers:
You really do!
(They really do. Or do they?)
Serenity:
I love my dysfunctional family! (Clank!)
Fox Executives:
We have a hit on our hands. Quick! Pull the plug!
(They do.)
Browncoats:
Not so fast!
(Then the miracle occurs. But is it enough?)
Johne (Phy) Cook | co-conspirator / Overlord, Ray Gun Revival | phywriter.com | The Sword Review | | | Back to Top | | |
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John M. Whalen
flashg
Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 426
| Posted 1/23/2007 8:48 AM (GMT -5) | | Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe
Ultracondensed by John M. Whalen
Zarkov:
I believe the Purple Plague is caused by that Death Dust coming from Mongo.
Dale:
You mean Ming is still alive?
Ming the Merciless:
Kill Them. Kill Them All!
The Rock People:
!nodroG hsalF lliK
Flash:
You'll never get away with it, Ming!
He doesn't, but returns later as Max Von Sydow. | | Back to Top | | |
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erazmus
Master
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 4546
| Posted 1/23/2007 1:37 PM (GMT -5) | | | | |
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