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PaulMc
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   Posted 3/25/2008 6:29 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
Jack Windsword said...
Dear expert,

My fiction severely lags where battles are concerned. What makes a good fight scene?

Examples are appreciated.

Jack

As everyone has said, sometimes it depends on what the fight means to the story.

One of the best fight writers, IMO, was Robert E. Howard. He knew how to write a 'breathless' fight with quick action.

Here's a snippet from the opening of "The Black Stranger".

REH said...
...the Cimmerian bounded into the path behind them and plunged his knife between the shoulders of the last man. The attack was so quick and unexpected the Pict had no chance to save himself. The blade was in his heart before he knew he was in peril. The other two whirled with the instant, steel-trap quickness of savages, but even as his knife sank home, the Cimmerian struck a tremendous blow with the war-axe in his right hand. The second Pict was in the act of turning as the axe fell. It split his skull to the teeth.


That's the stuff!


-- Paul McNamee

My Writings

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crystalwizard
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   Posted 3/25/2008 6:24 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
I'm going to chime in here and ask a question in return:

When sorts of fight scenes bore you when you read them, and what sort hold your attention?


Never meddle in the affairs of a wizard unless you are soggy and hard to light!



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John M. Whalen
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   Posted 3/25/2008 1:27 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
This is all excellent advice from acknowledged masters.

If I might throw my own views into the mix, what I like to do is give detailed, concrete descriptions of the physical action, so the reader can see it, and descriptions of what it feels like to be in that particular fight. Here's and example from "Tulip" a Jack Brand story that was in Ray Gun Revival.

"The big man leaned forward, a long arm shot across the table, and a meaty fist cracked hard against Brand’s jaw. Brand went backwards in the chair and landed on the floor, the back of the chair breaking under him. He started to get up, but Butch was already on him, pulling him up by his shirt. A bone crunching punch to the chin, sent Brand reeling back. He crashed into a wall. He started toward the big man. A pale wave of blue light shot out of the Beretta in Burnett’s hand. Brand stopped in his tracks, his body tingling with numbness. Burnett had set the gun to stun. Unable to move, Brand could only stand immobile as Butch dropped a shoulder and threw his whole body behind his next punch. It sent Brand flying backwards, crashing into a table and down on the floor."

Its a combination of sensations. And the action follows a pattern of tension and release. Hope that helps.

(It's a space western so the Beretta is a ray gun.)
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erazmus
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   Posted 3/25/2008 12:45 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
It depends on the fight. Sometimes you have a fight-in-passing, something to get done because it needs doing that you don't want to spend a long time on-- then something like Rob's first example comes into play. Short sentences of short words makes for an intense fight.
But when the fights the thing, then I approach it differently. If I've built up too the fight, have got you, the reader, wanting the fight, then it is incumbent on me to provide a fight worth reading.
A good fight scene (of this sort) is structured much like a good short story. It opens with a hook-- or a cross or a kick to the balls or a thrust to the low line, but the opening must hook the reader, catch hold of his full attention and draw him into the action. Often I start not with description of the action itself but with the sensation of the initial engagement. An explosion of pain as the POV's nose is struck, or across that same POV's knuckles. a whirl of confusion as she falls back onto her seat. The instinctive reaction of continuing to roll away from an incoming opponent, then realization of who it is and what is happening.
And that is the opening paragraph. I'd likely (but not always) follow this by pulling back, allowing an over view of the action, comment on the enviroment and its effect on the fight. At this point pacing begins to take hold. That series of peaks and valleys comes into play as first one character and then the others get the upper hand. As the POV moves into finish, the opponent counters unexpectedly. Just as hes about to finish the POV off, they react with a different stratgem.
And of course just as the hero is about to die (or fall unconcious) they win. All the while using sentence length and word choice to tighten up as I go along, increasing the speed of the action with shorter words in shorter sentences to convey a frantic pace.
And as soon as the hero wins or loses, some sort of denoument. A reflection, a surprise utterance from the fallen, something to contrast with the battle itself.
Thats how I do a fight scene.

Mike


Michael D. Turner
"Psyched Up" in _Turn the other Chick_-ed. E. Friesner-Baen books
www.baen.com
"Dutchman Rescue"in Continuum SF #6
www.continuumsciencefiction.com/orders.htm

"An Incident at Black Tongue Tavern" in _Bash Down the Door and Slice Open the Badguy_ from Fantasist Enterprises:

www.fantasistent.com/books/anthologies/BASH.php
"Stains" in Tales of the Talisman 3-1 www.zianet.com/hadrosaur/index.html
"Morning Coffee" in Every Day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/morning-coffee-by-michael-d-turner/
"The Jewel Below" in Flashing Swords
flashingswords.sfreader.com/issues/issue8/vol2-iss8-05.htm
"Happy Landings" in Every Day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/happy-landings-by-michael-d-turner/
"Teller of Tales" in Every day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/teller-of-tales-by-michael-d-turner/
Read "Silver Shells" In Every Day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/silver-shells-by-michael-d-turner/

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Rob Santa
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   Posted 3/24/2008 10:45 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
I have to admit I write two kinds of action scenes: ones where the action is expressed with a brevity that's almost criminal, and ones where I put detail in every move.

Examples follow:

1. Count DuChampes and Captain Beaulieau drew blades and engaged. Though scoring first--a light cut on the Captain's forearm--the Count's age quickly fell behind the younger man's aggression, and he was bested.

2. Count DuChampes held his rapier at middle guard. Captain Beaulieu made engagement. With blades touching only at tips, both men sidestepped to draw the opponent into a diagonal stance. The Captain pressured the Count's blade down and leaned into his thrust, but the Count stepped fully out of line and dropped a fendente that sliced open the Captain's sleeve. Captain Beaulieau hissed through clenched teeth and leapt. He pounded the Count, raining blows that rang through the chamber like off-key cymbals. Twice the Count parried too far from his weapon's ricasso and felt the numbing vibrations rob his arm of strength. Again and again the Captain thrust and cut until the Count's fingers lost all grip. His rapier fell to the ground, followed by the Count to his knees. Captain Beaulieau lifted the Count's chin with the tip of his sword and held the point there aginst his throat until his ragged breaths fogged the blade's steel.

Sloppy, I know, but a good taste of what I like to do. Pity that many editors like their action scenes taught since I love writing with detail. I don't have to have the writing be super short to imply the action in my mind's eye. Many times I like to have it slowed down so I can appreciate what's going on, the subtleties of the fight.

Anyway, my two cents.



Rob Santa
Hopelessly Addicted Writer of Speculative Fiction
and CEO of Ricasso Press

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Swashbuckler
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   Posted 3/24/2008 10:44 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
Always listen to such wise advice, DA ...

Here's a bit more: The most important thing about a fight scene is the REASON FOR THE FIGHT. Make the reader care about your combatant first, let the reader know what's at stake. Then write it tightly.


Steve Goble

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DAWaverly
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   Posted 3/24/2008 9:49 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
I am no expert, but I got expert advice about this.

The answer is actually in the question. Lag. Get rid of the lag.
The expert advice was simple: "In action sequences, tighter sentences help convey a sense of urgency." To me this meant shorter sentences--removing adjectives and adverbs as much as possible. Don't explain anything, just show it.
I was somewhat skeptical, but because I trusted the person giving me the advice, I followed it. And by golly it worked like a charm.


- Deven
Blogtide Rising

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Lyn
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   Posted 3/24/2008 9:32 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
Ooh, great question. Ditto what Jack asked.


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Jack Windsword
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   Posted 3/24/2008 9:01 PM (GMT -4)    Quote This PostAlert An Admin About This Post.
Dear expert,
 
My fiction severely lags where battles are concerned.  What makes a good fight scene?
Examples are appreciated.
 
Jack
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