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| SFReader Forums > SFReader > Ask The Expert > Fights | Forum Quick Jump
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crystalwizard
Forum Moderator
      
Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 4586
| Posted 3/25/2008 6:24 PM (GMT -4) |   | | | |
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John M. Whalen
flashg
Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 375
| Posted 3/25/2008 1:27 PM (GMT -4) | | This is all excellent advice from acknowledged masters.
If I might throw my own views into the mix, what I like to do is give detailed, concrete descriptions of the physical action, so the reader can see it, and descriptions of what it feels like to be in that particular fight. Here's and example from "Tulip" a Jack Brand story that was in Ray Gun Revival.
"The big man leaned forward, a long arm shot across the table, and a meaty fist cracked hard against Brand’s jaw. Brand went backwards in the chair and landed on the floor, the back of the chair breaking under him. He started to get up, but Butch was already on him, pulling him up by his shirt. A bone crunching punch to the chin, sent Brand reeling back. He crashed into a wall. He started toward the big man. A pale wave of blue light shot out of the Beretta in Burnett’s hand. Brand stopped in his tracks, his body tingling with numbness. Burnett had set the gun to stun. Unable to move, Brand could only stand immobile as Butch dropped a shoulder and threw his whole body behind his next punch. It sent Brand flying backwards, crashing into a table and down on the floor."
Its a combination of sensations. And the action follows a pattern of tension and release. Hope that helps.
(It's a space western so the Beretta is a ray gun.) | | Back to Top | | |
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erazmus
Master
Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 4474
| Posted 3/25/2008 12:45 PM (GMT -4) | | It depends on the fight. Sometimes you have a fight-in-passing, something to get done because it needs doing that you don't want to spend a long time on-- then something like Rob's first example comes into play. Short sentences of short words makes for an intense fight.
But when the fights the thing, then I approach it differently. If I've built up too the fight, have got you, the reader, wanting the fight, then it is incumbent on me to provide a fight worth reading.
A good fight scene (of this sort) is structured much like a good short story. It opens with a hook-- or a cross or a kick to the balls or a thrust to the low line, but the opening must hook the reader, catch hold of his full attention and draw him into the action. Often I start not with description of the action itself but with the sensation of the initial engagement. An explosion of pain as the POV's nose is struck, or across that same POV's knuckles. a whirl of confusion as she falls back onto her seat. The instinctive reaction of continuing to roll away from an incoming opponent, then realization of who it is and what is happening.
And that is the opening paragraph. I'd likely (but not always) follow this by pulling back, allowing an over view of the action, comment on the enviroment and its effect on the fight. At this point pacing begins to take hold. That series of peaks and valleys comes into play as first one character and then the others get the upper hand. As the POV moves into finish, the opponent counters unexpectedly. Just as hes about to finish the POV off, they react with a different stratgem.
And of course just as the hero is about to die (or fall unconcious) they win. All the while using sentence length and word choice to tighten up as I go along, increasing the speed of the action with shorter words in shorter sentences to convey a frantic pace.
And as soon as the hero wins or loses, some sort of denoument. A reflection, a surprise utterance from the fallen, something to contrast with the battle itself.
Thats how I do a fight scene.
Mike
Michael D. Turner
"Psyched Up" in _Turn the other Chick_-ed. E. Friesner-Baen books
www.baen.com
"Dutchman Rescue"in Continuum SF #6
www.continuumsciencefiction.com/orders.htm
"An Incident at Black Tongue Tavern" in _Bash Down the Door and Slice Open the Badguy_ from Fantasist Enterprises:
www.fantasistent.com/books/anthologies/BASH.php
"Stains" in Tales of the Talisman 3-1 www.zianet.com/hadrosaur/index.html
"Morning Coffee" in Every Day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/morning-coffee-by-michael-d-turner/
"The Jewel Below" in Flashing Swords
flashingswords.sfreader.com/issues/issue8/vol2-iss8-05.htm
"Happy Landings" in Every Day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/happy-landings-by-michael-d-turner/
"Teller of Tales" in Every day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/teller-of-tales-by-michael-d-turner/
Read "Silver Shells" In Every Day Fiction
www.everydayfiction.com/silver-shells-by-michael-d-turner/ | | Back to Top | | |
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Rob Santa
Sage
Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1383
| Posted 3/24/2008 10:45 PM (GMT -4) | | I have to admit I write two kinds of action scenes: ones where the action is expressed with a brevity that's almost criminal, and ones where I put detail in every move.
Examples follow:
1. Count DuChampes and Captain Beaulieau drew blades and engaged. Though scoring first--a light cut on the Captain's forearm--the Count's age quickly fell behind the younger man's aggression, and he was bested.
2. Count DuChampes held his rapier at middle guard. Captain Beaulieu made engagement. With blades touching only at tips, both men sidestepped to draw the opponent into a diagonal stance. The Captain pressured the Count's blade down and leaned into his thrust, but the Count stepped fully out of line and dropped a fendente that sliced open the Captain's sleeve. Captain Beaulieau hissed through clenched teeth and leapt. He pounded the Count, raining blows that rang through the chamber like off-key cymbals. Twice the Count parried too far from his weapon's ricasso and felt the numbing vibrations rob his arm of strength. Again and again the Captain thrust and cut until the Count's fingers lost all grip. His rapier fell to the ground, followed by the Count to his knees. Captain Beaulieau lifted the Count's chin with the tip of his sword and held the point there aginst his throat until his ragged breaths fogged the blade's steel.
Sloppy, I know, but a good taste of what I like to do. Pity that many editors like their action scenes taught since I love writing with detail. I don't have to have the writing be super short to imply the action in my mind's eye. Many times I like to have it slowed down so I can appreciate what's going on, the subtleties of the fight.
Anyway, my two cents.
Rob Santa
Hopelessly Addicted Writer of Speculative Fiction
and CEO of Ricasso Press | | Back to Top | | |
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Lyn
Adopt
Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 1278
| Posted 3/24/2008 9:32 PM (GMT -4) | | | | |
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