Here's a poem for all those lovers of CR:
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amber, the liquid poured in glasses short,
rocks alternative, or neat and poured straight;
best kept uncomplicated – but of late
cola is the sweetener for the sort
who like it sweet. To this some retort
with condescension. Purist opinion
being that sweet is much too plebian.
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Smooth is the liquor of Canadian
grain distilled to be all the more mellow
for age and purer waters artesian.
Deeper of copper and gold than yellow,
Crown Royal is not for that base, callow
taste inherent of Southern gentlemen
who prefer a serpent’s sharp kiss within
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their spirit-water, but for connoisseurs
whose preference is tastefully rendered
whiskey of refined and gently tempered
ambiance. Give lesser swills to poseurs
whose pedestrian taste hints of pastures
where equestrian droppings ill-flavor
otherwise adequate waters. Savor
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the wise these fine-bodied amber liquids
from the Great White North. Superior draughts
are not for the vulgar, nor insipids
with their lowly tastes – such taste only rots
the gut and fills empty funeral plots
with desperate folk who trade quality
for baser, unrewarding quantity
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of booze unworthy the moniker
“whiskey.” So pour two generous fingers
neat, and toast the taste gentlemen prefer
Crown Royal, whose distinct flavor lingers
on the happy palate. Key your singers
to as mellow a tune, and jazz invades
where calm evening’s smooth ambiance pervades.
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Toast to health and leisure, plenty and wealth,
for tomorrow we die! Or wish it so
if too many toasts tonight—to your health!
we slur and sip too much. But tomorrow
never comes, my friends! So let us bellow
bawdy songs and drink, and responsibly
designate a driver, lest tragically
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we toast our last, or another’s. Princely
friends, this round’s on me! Let us toast our verse
and pen our rhymes and imbibe ungodly
vice to preserve our virtue. Now, rehearse
this toast with me, fine friends, We let no curse>>
sway us from that to which we are loyal;>>
fill glass forevermore with Crown Royal!>>
Literarily speaking: More prolific than sin! |